Thursday, October 22, 2009

..sHarIng Is LoVinG..

ni che yg aku ingin kongsi kan anda semua..sedih story ni..hayati la..sayangi la ibu dn ayah anda..

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder,

how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She

must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to

taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling

that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional

needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I

had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that

there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after

informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the

room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with

intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken

porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies

the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a

mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged

straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him

a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short


"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were

not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I

remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without

any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from

the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for

me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it

under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you

'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I

didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and

cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went

towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him,

while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on

the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's

room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little

buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to

focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to

most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten.

Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood

memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time,

his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from

school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to

explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling

out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop,

happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the

hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But

after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by

his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was

the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the

kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept

to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure,

would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me

proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's

winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in

every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my

son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the

day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post

master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to

post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise

never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel

that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he

apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I

pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the

letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son

on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to

ask him:

" But why did u post so many letters, at one time?"

My son's reply was:

" I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each

time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not

able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I

could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future,

if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach

mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon

after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the

letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help

opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and

the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I

did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was

afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad

went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front

of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was

furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not

tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and

whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his

room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But

Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my

dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if

you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will

see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace

the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be

some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.

Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer

to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take

care of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not

even business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are

totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this

society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little

precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other

things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't

let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing

matters more than your well being.

p/s : ibu..ayah..rinduuu..

Monday, October 19, 2009

~Menu Mingguan~

hai u olls..hehheh...

Assalammualaikum & Selamat Pagi semua...

aku nk berkongsi ckit cerita pada weekend yang lalu...pada weekend yang lalu aku telah mencuba resipi buat piza..mmg simple buat piza ni sebenarnya..resipi pun aku dpt dari kawan aku...yang sedihnya aku tk dpat nk tgkp gmbar piza aku tu sebb nye bateri kamera plak dah abis..tkpe next time bila aku buat lagi aku akn post kan gmbar & cara2 membuat piza...bagi aku ok la..1 try kan biasa la pasti ada yang tak kena..mula2 ingat dh masak toping nye tapi lom lagi..heat lagi dalam oven..hehehhe..lastly masak gak..alhmdulilah..sib baik hubby aku ckp OK, NOT BAD...heheheh..untuk pengetahuan semua, my hubby mmg seorang pengkritik masakan yang hebat..hehehhe..(pdhl suami aku tk pandai pn masak..sory dear..)

Piza aku buat tu dapat la dalam 3 bekas..byk gak tau..then aku pn bagi la cikit pada CT yang dok dkt uma aku tok dia rasa..hehehhe..memandangkan aku & suami perot org MELAYU la katakan tetap nak makan nasi gak malam, aku dengan pantas & cekap pn masak la menu yang cukup simple (menu ats order my hubby) ikan bilis sambal & sayur air..hehehe..konon2 la nk western sangat tapi akhirnya nasi 1 pot abis gak kami bahan..hehhehe..

Pada hari Ahad lak, lepas je suami ku pergi ke kelas, aku pn menjalankan tugas sebagai isteri pergi ke pasar nak beli barang2 nak buat laksa...emm..dah lama tak makan laksa so aku pn dengan pantas & cepat membeli barang2. Sampai je uma terus main masak2 laksa..rebus ikan, rendam laksa...dan sebagainya..untuk pengetahuan semua resipi laksa ini adalah resipi turun temurun keluarga aku..ada rahsia di sebalik pembuatan laksa ini..kalu nk tau kena la try laksa aku ini ye..hehheh..konpom korang nak minta resipi ngn aku la...hehhe...

Kiranya weekend yang baru2 ni aku penuhi hari aku dengan pelbagai menu masakan..aku semakin rajin memasak (puji diri sendiri la plek..) dan semakin kurang membeli & makan di for da next weekend...ingat nak masak nasi aym la...hehehe..insyallah...akan cuba menjadi seorang isteri yang rajin memasak & menjaga perut suami nya..(aik???)

p/s : tk dpt nk upload gmbar..lain resipi aku akan tgkp pic & letak resipi ye..

Friday, October 9, 2009

~Jamuan Hari Raya JHEPA~

..tengah menjamu selera..ops k.ayu..

Hari ini hari Jumaat. JHEPA telah mengadakan jamuan hari raya yang bertempat di dlm pejabat JHEPA sendiri. Dihadiri oleh mantan-mantan JHEPA, Pengetua2,Staf2 & MPP...mmg meriah..hehehe..tgk saja aksi2 bergmbar..semua staf JHEPA kalu bergambar mmg tk sedar diri termsuk la HAKUK ni!!! hehhehe..

Antara juadah yang disediakan ialah lemang, rendang, soto, puding berkuah, laksa, sate, nasi impit, nasi lemak, pulut panggang, tapai, buah betik, limau, air anggur & air bandung...ehhehe..mmg kenyang gile..juadah yang disediakan juga amat sedap sekali..

aduhh..tak tahu apa lagi nak cakap tapi yang pasti mmg meriah..perut aku pn kenyang gile...tgk la gmbar yang ada ye..

p/s: Selesa sungguh perut ku hari ini..

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

..Cadangan diperlukan..

kawan2 ku sekalian..

aku ingin tanya kepada kawan2 yang view blog aku ni cadangan tempat utk bercuti a.k.a honeymoon...hehehhe..
Kalu sape2 ada cadangan tempat & harga bagitau eh..gue udah buntu mau cari..sebab husband aku letakkan semua kuasa tok mencari & mendecide tmpat percutian kami..
kalu kawan2 ada link percutian leh letak kat post shout aku k..

tq ya pada kawan2 yang sudi tolong aku..

love u all..


Pada hari sabtu bertarikh 3 Oktober 2009 yang lalu, JHEPA tempat aku bekerja telah menganjurkan dinner utk para graduan UMP yang bertempat di Bukit Gambang Resort City..utk pengetahuan kawan2 ku diluar sana, Gambang skrg dah buka theme juga aku tgk view tk pernah lagi masuk tapi maybe masuk end of dis year..ehhehe...nnti ye aku upload gmbar tok korang tgk..

Seramai 500 orang graduan yang hadir pada malam tersebut termasuk tetamu khas daripada Sekolah Pendidikan Khas ( Cacat Pendengaran) comel sangat adik2 ni..mereka menyampaikan 4 persembahan yang bagus pada malam tersebut..

Malam tu seramai 32 orang staf JHEPA yang menjayakan program tersebut..tahniah kepada anda semua..malam itu adalah malam yang meriah bagi pandangan saya...tiada majlis yang perfect..kita semua bekerjasama sehingga lewat malam..tahniah sekali lagi..

Pada majlis tersebut juga, aku telah ditugaskan menjadi pengiring Dato NC..terima kasih kepada Pengarah kerana memberi kepercayaan kepada aku utk menjadi pengiring Dato NC pada malam tersebut, aku amat menghargainya..mmg tk dpt nk bergambar sakan malam tu sebabnye terlalu sibuk..hehehe..aku makan pn malam tu hanya seketol ikan patin je...punye la bz..bila tdo malam tu dengan perot yang berdendang rancak..hehheh..sabar je la..

so, mari kita tgk gmbar yang sedikit ni..wachaaa...

..Gambar Hari Raya..jom tgk..

dari belakang : ila, aku, husband, adik
tgh : noni, mak, abah, ija depan : awi

Monday, October 5, 2009

~DIA lebih mengetahui~

hati pedih..sedih..kecewa....

tak tau nak mula kan yang mana...

1. kerja yang aku mohon tk dpat kat UiTM
2. Sikap setengah org yang menyakitkan hati
3. Penukaran husband aku yg entah bila???

pada 2 oktober 2009, masa perjalanan nk ke GIANT, husband aku telah mengumumkan sesuatu yang kurang enak aku dengar...mari kita tgk dialog antara kami..

abg : ayang..abg ada 3 cerita nak cerita pada ayang..
aku: ape dia (masa ni hati aku tk sedap dah)
abg : 1 cerita tk bes, 2 cerita kurang bes & 3 cerita bes
aku : nak cerita tak bes dl
abg : yang tak bes ayg tak dapat keje kat sn..(UiTM), yang kurang bes abg dapat tawaran kerja ngn unit ladang, yang bes abg dah minta tlg bos ejas tok abg keje kat kuantan tapi ngn syarat bila ada juruteknik baru kat kuantan automatik abg kena balik Jengka balik...
aku : .....(bisu + sedih + kecewa = mengenang nasib)
abg : jangan lah diam je..cakap la..
aku : (dalam nada marah & menangis..semua org aku marah!!!) &*!!@####((^^^

aku tak tau nk ckp ape..sedih sangat dan yang pasti aku tk tau aku menangis yang mana 1..bagi aku, berita yang bes tu tidak la bape bes bagi aku sebab husband aku bukan ditukar kan ke kuantan tetapi hanya dipinjamkan di sini sahaja maksudnya bila2 masa sahaja dia kena dok kat sn..adik ipar aku nk kawen dah, pastu laki aku jauh...emmm..apa la nasib aku..tak tau sampai bila keajaiban ini akan muncul..yang pasti..pada keesokkan ari nya, aku dh set kan minda aku bahawa hari 3 oktober ini aku taknak nangis2, cukuplah 1 malam aku menangisi..aku nak keje ari ni dengan perasaan gembira..yang berlalu tetap tidak boleh diubah..untuk masa yang mendatang aku harungi dengan redha..

p/s : YA ALLAH.. aku mohon pada mu YA ALLAH semoga aku & suami ku dapat tinggal bersama..aku tidak sanggup berjauhan lagi dengan suamiku...